Please don't get me wrong though, the review was not all roses. I honestly don't think a performance review ever should be that way. One should always walk away with something they need to improve or work towards. My take away that both did and did not surprise me was the tone that I sometim
es convey within my emails. (WHAT?!?! you say)My manager is an MBTI facilitator and profiled our department. One characteristic of myself that she has seemed to nail (a little to my dismay) is that what I feel I often say out loud. So instead of thinking and perhaps writing rationally I do so emotionally.
I did think that perhaps my emails were getting shorter and shorter and more and more to just the blunt point. I've been chalking this up to my many 140 character messages through twitter and the 160 I can make on my phone. (ie: A daughter's friend does not ask how you are, she writes Sup? Her cousin replies "nutin"). However, there was one particular email she pointed out to me from quite recently where my to my surprise I did compose in a quite a harsh manner.
Mid-July the IT department decided they needed to lock down the wallpaper of workstations to publish IP information (quick info) and to minimize the radical look of some workstations. At first I was really taken back and I suppose now slightly offended that they would take away this control I had over MY workstation.
I immediately fired off an email to the manager of the department, because I have a good working relationship with her and not thinking of any consequences it may bring. I was accusatory. "...very hand y for your dept, however I find it extremely controlling." I pointed out how uncustomer friendly THEY were. "These changes seem very little more than a matter of convenience for you..."
I did have many great points in my email, but they unfortunately lost much of their power due to the overall tone of the entire email.
So what have I learned from all this? When the need arises to confront a difficult topic through word (or email in this case) first and most important ....breathe. Take a moment. Walk away from the situation, then come back and put your points down. Next, write your email, read your email, re-read your email, as a colleague to read it, edit your email....send your improved email.
A phone call yesterday to the IT manager did reveal that she didn't read so much into the tone as my own manager had thought. However, someone (anyone) else may have been hurt by it and therefore miss the key points I was trying to make. The IT department did actually receive several other complaint and although the never released the background the did take away the nasty grey theme and gave us back the default blue. Ahhh - better on the eyes.
My point that I want to convey is that although the message may seem perfectly clear to you, the next person beside you can easily read it in a much different light. In a world so inundated with technology it is imperative to ensure that your words, thoughts and feelings come across in such a way that the main message is never lost and that relationships are not hurt. Some of these take years to build in the business world and only a moment (or word) to break.
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